James and Jo’s south east Asia adventure

We had an early start as we were being picked up from the hotel at 7.30 for an extensive day trip. I’d struggled to get to sleep due to either the jet lag or the coffee. The Robusta beans that they use are stronger than the arabica beans generally used in the uk.

Anyhow, I didn’t feel as tired as I expected when we boarded the coach. Our guide, Viet (imaginative parents) gave us an informative and funny talk on all aspects of Vietnamese culture during the couple of hours it took us to get to our first destination, Hoa Lu. Hoa Lu was the ancient capital of Vietnam for a brief period around the 10th century and although there was some interesting history that seemed to involve driving out the Chinese (a recurring theme) and fratricide there wasn’t much to see apart from a couple of temples.

We stopped at a craft shop for 20 minutes along with a few other tours which was a bit of a tourist trap in terms of prices but there was a section where disabled victims of the American bombing and chemical weapons campaign were embroidering pictures. Some of the results were very impressive and we bought one of the more affordable embroideries as it was made known beforehand that the proceeds went to their charity.

I was getting hungry by this point and had skipped breakfast with the promise of a buffet lunch. They were making sure that we would build up an appetite and scheduled a 30 minute bike ride prior to this. As per the Tripadvisor description this was optional as “customers can skip biking if don’t know how to bike or too fat”. I summoned my childhood muscle memory and rode a bike for the second time in 20 years, it was enjoyable despite the brakes scarcely working as the circuit was mostly flat with minimal traffic and magnificent views.

The buffet at the local restaurant had a decent selection and it was all palatable, goat meat was the local staple and I piled my plate high with it.

The next stop was ‘Tam Coc’, billed as ‘Halong bay on land’. This is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and the boat tour was the two of us with a pilot at the rear of the boat. We had our first rain of the holiday and it became torrential just as we set off, fortunately it eased off as it would have made the trip a bit miserable if it had carried on like that. The pilot rowed and steered the boat with his feet, rather than hands. This undoubtedly requires more skill but makes sense given the amount of distance they cover. We went through 3 caves of a hundred metres or so, out and back again, and due to the high water level with it being at the end of the rainy season relied on the skill of the pilot to accurately navigate a way through without any head bumps due to the very uneven ceiling. The vistas were impressive with the big limestone cliffs around us covered in greenery but it would have been eerily quiet were it not for the sound of the boats going through the water and the clunk of the oars against the metal sides as there was no birdsong or insect sounds. Surprising given the water and lush vegetation.

The last stop involved a walk up a hill/mountain, supposedly 500 steps. This seemed to be an unwelcome surprise for Jo despite booking the experience who bemoaned the fact that every

holiday we go on seems to have a hike of sorts.

She survived, and we had a cornetto to celebrate.